We’ve all been there – the bad hair day, the pimple before a hot date, the jeans that don’t fit anymore, the shirt that makes you feel uncomfortable. All of us experience these little curve-balls of life every single day. Unfortunately, some of us take it one step too far and obsess over our weight, skin tone, nose, knees, feet, hands, breasts, stomach etc. We page through magazines, go on websites and look at skinny male/female models with a massive gulp in our throats. “I want to look like that,” we say. “I want to be hot,” we say. “I don’t want to be me anymore,” we whisper.
Low self-esteem is one of the worst effects of life we can experience. It makes us uncomfortable in our skin and allows us to obsess over our faults and past mistakes. We continuously speak to ourselves in our minds and make horrible, nasty comments about our life, body and future. I’m worthless, I’m ugly, I’m not good enough, he/she won’t like me if I look like this, I have no friends, I have no future. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we allow ourselves to become such bullies? If you were your own best friend, you wouldn’t speak to him/her like this, now would you? Your mom/dad says you’re beautiful and you should never change for anyone. You don’t believe him/her, right? A mom/dad would always say that, wouldn’t they? They love you, so they have to say that, right? No, you’re completely wrong. They don’t have to say that, but they do, because parents have this amazing sixth sense where they’re able to see you for who you are. How do you think they always know when you’re telling a white lie about the broken window?
Affirmation helps, sticking Post-Its on your PC screen telling you how cool you are also helps, looking in the mirror and loving yourself might help, but you know what really helps? Standing up and saying out loud, “I am beautiful, kind, intelligent and important.” Think about it for a second: Out of all of the billions of little sperm cells, you were able to fight your way through the womb, kick other sperm cells in the face and swim like Michael Phelps to reach that fertile egg. You survived for 9 months in a small space, without freaking out and without trying to escape before your due date. You were born one morning when the sun light filtered through the hospital window and the doctors, the nurses and your family were there to welcome you into the world. They raised you, they clothed you and they gave you the opportunity to live, and living is the greatest gift you could ever receive. You survived insurmountable odds to become the person you are today. Hey, even if you don’t believe it right now, your birth truly was significant.
You know those kids at school who make you feel worse than a cat’s vomit? Those dudes/girls who treat you like garbage and bully you for being “different”? They’re also experiencing what you’re experiencing, but they’re not emotionally mature enough to handle the low self-esteem, so they lash out at people who cannot fend for themselves. You never need to listen to these people, because their words come from a place they do not understand. Luckily for you, you understand yourself, otherwise you wouldn’t have read this far.
Okay, so we’ve established that you’re beautiful, kind, intelligent, important and significant, so why do you still not believe these wonderful adjectives? Why do you still fight against it? You’re saying to yourself now, “Pfft! They never had my life, how would they know what I go through on a daily basis?” You know how we know what you’re going through? We’ve been there. Yes, we also experienced the bullies, we also believed we weren’t good enough, we also didn’t want to be us anymore, but you know how we figured out that we were beautiful, kind, intelligent and important? We woke up one morning and realized we were missing out on life, we were missing out on the sun in the garden, we were missing out on chilling with friends who love us and we were missing out on the most important aspect of all, reality.
We know you’ve read this far, because you’re cool and awesome and amazing. So, what do you do with all of these feelings? Stand up against the bully inside of yourself and stop being like the dude/girl who kicks the little kid every day after school – you’re beautiful, kind, intelligent and important – so start treating yourself like you would treat your best friend and hey, who knows, maybe one day you might also experience your own kid’s important and significant birth.