In a matter of weeks, the Christmas holiday season will be upon us. It doesn’t really matter what religious orientation you are, as you won’t be able to escape the Boney M jingles and the kitsch decorations of scary Santa Clause figurines. Like our birthdays, Christmas comes along once a year to terrorize us and make us believe that anything is possible. If you’ve been arrested and sentenced to three weeks in Christmas prison, read on. If not, STOP RIGHT NOW and continue living your life as a functional human being.
So, what do you do to get away from the raucous relatives? How do you cope with being stuck at home over the Christmas period? Read Celeb Teen Laundry’s trusty guide on how to survive the Christmas holidays with your dysfunctional family.
1 – Breathe – Don’t allow grandma’s pinching and Aunt Mildred’s sarcastic quips to get to you. Family members love to treat you like the cute five-year-old kid they once knew. Let them have a go at it, because if your relatives came from afar, you luckily won’t be seeing their faces for another 12 months. Allow them to relish in the excitement of seeing the grown-up you. They will soon find other stimuli to entertain them, and will most probably leave you alone long enough to allow you to break the bathroom window and escape.
2 – Don’t Argue – Although your extended family is important, an extended family will also cause much disruption to your laissez-faire teenage lifestyle. They won’t necessarily always agree with your subject choices, your college plans, and your ideologies, but don’t let that get to you! You won’t be able to change their minds, no matter how hard you try, so just nod your head and agree with their ideas. However, it is extremely important that your family members do not bully you into something you are not. If you feel like you’re being oppressed and/or bullied, stand up for whom you are and have confidence in your convictions.
3 – Request Parole – Your family will most probably have many things to keep them busy during the holiday season, but you also need someone and/or something to quench your thirst for mental stimulation. If your family is staying at home and chilling in front of the fire place, why not take this opportunity to ask the person in charge if you could leave the house and spend some time with your friends? In most cases, the answer will be no, but if you don’t try you’ll never know!
4 – Appeal Your Parole – If your parole has been denied and the person in charge is refusing to let you leave the house, you should attempt to appeal the parole. Don’t be bitchy and/or selfish, rather express to the person in charge that you’re not planning to stay away until late, but that you just need some time to breathe and find yourself again. In most appeal cases, the person in charge will eventually give in and say yes. IMPORTANT: Do not, under any circumstances, cause a ruckus and/or a fight. There might be a reason as to why you’re not allowed to join your friends, so first find out the reason and respect the final decision. Dude, fighting with your parents is so 1999.
5 – If All Else Fails, Jump – Not literally! What do you take us for? If there’s no opportunity for parole until 2013, take the figurative leap and jump into the family discussions, charades evenings, and Monopoly all-nighters. If you stop rebelling against the institution of holiday, you might find many nifty opportunities to learn new skills. If you learn how to make eggnog, how to cheat at Monopoly, how to debate important world events, and how to win at charades, you might return to your normal life in 2013 as a brand new person. Take this time to reflect on what you achieved during the past year, how you’re going to approach the new semester at school, and what you could do about that darn boyfriend/girlfriend situation.
What are you doing for the Christmas holidays? Let us know in the comments below!