One of the hardest parts about teen dating is the word “no”. It is so easy to hurt someone’s feelings when you use the word. There are not many ways to do so gracefully, right? Too many times teens end up saying “yes” just to avoid the problems that can come from turning someone down. Needless to say, this can lead to complete disaster in the dating arena. Try some of the tactics below to help you say no without hurting anyone’s feelings.
Honesty is sometimes the best policy, even when you are trying to avoid hurt feelings. For example, if someone asks you on a date and they have a reputation for using drugs, let them know this is why you don’t want to go. This is not a personal reflection on the person asking. It’s just your way of pointing out an activity you don’t want to be associated with. This might actually help the person more than it hurts him or her.
Sex Doesn’t Require a Reason
You don’t have to explain anything when you say no to sex. Agreeing to go on a date is different than agreeing to sexual activity. A simple “no” should be answer enough. If you are truly interested in the person and you want to establish that you require more time and commitment, let him or her know that. Just don’t feel obligated to defend your right to deny sexual gratification in any form.
Make an Excuse
If someone asks you out on a date you don’t want to go out on, you can always tell him or her that you have other plans. If you never want to go out with this person, you need to find a reason not to if you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Either way, make sure your excuse isn’t going to hurt any feelings either. For example, you can’t say that you have to babysit Friday night and then go out with another guy instead or you are going to hurt someone’s feelings. You also can’t use the long term excuse that you aren’t allowed to date and then be seen out on a date. Your actions speak far louder than your words. If you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, then back up your words with your actions.
Most of the time, it is best to simply tell them that you are not interested if you are sure you will not be saying yes. This can save both you and them a ton of heartache over time. If they ask why, you can simply say that is between yourself and yourself. That might get a chuckle and lighten the mood. Be nice, but firm.
You never have to be cruel when you say no. However, you should plan for the long term. Someone who asks you out once is bound to ask you out again. Keep that in mind when you say no the first time. You can stop future requests by answering the first one correctly. Be kind and don’t cut anyone down. No matter how you put it, telling someone no for a date is a bit painful for them. Don’t add to it with unnecessary cut downs. They might not be right for you, but they may be perfect for someone else.